User blog:DivineShadow/The horribly written fanfic that was never finished.
It was not too long ago, the good princess invited me over for a spot of tea. It was my first visit to the Mushroom Kingdom, I hadn't the slightest idea how to act. I arrived in my red Ferrari, just outside of the castle gates. An odd little mushroom man then proceeded to usher me inside the castle.The first thing I noticed was that it was big. Too, Big. As I walked through the white and red, winding corridors of the castle, the fragrant smell of a baking cake wafted into my nostrils."What could the cake be for?" I pondered. While I was reflecting upon that wonderful odor, the little man stopped dead in his tracks. "If you please, sir." He said, gesturing to a room down the hall. The sunlight blinded me. I found myself in a garden terrace, enveloped in foliage. In its middle sat a dainty, glass table, set for two. A young woman, dressed in rosy pink, sunlight shining down on her golden hair and a glittering crown above her thin face sat at the table with a calm but expectant look on it. "Sit down." she said, smiling at me in such a way that I couldn't refuse. We talked idly. I was uncomfortable. She seemed to want something. "Look," I said, "Is there a reason that I was summoned here? Besides tea and small-talk?" The Happy expression gracing her gentle face quickly turned dour. "Hmm, you're somewhat more clever than I anticipated..." She mumbled. I was growing extremely uneasy. "You want to know why you were summoned here? Fine, I'll tell you." She looked at me with fierce determination in her eyes. I could feel beads of sweat slowly rolling down my body and dripping off. "I asked for your presence here today because..." She paused. I gulped. She smirked. " Because I want you to kidnap me." "K-k-kidnap you?!? What?!? Are you mad!?!" Her fine features suggested that she took pleasure in my reaction. "No, I'm not mad, only bored." Said she. "Yes, mad. She's definitely mad." I thought to myself in complete disarray. "You see..." She turned her head towards the sky. "You see, I find life boring, I'm constantly being kidnapped. By the same creature, almost everyday it seems. He locks me up in several different places... But no matter what, I always end up getting rescued... "Rescued? By whom?" I inquired. "Oh, nobody really. Just some fat man who smells of pasta and parmesan.He's lazy and ugly and oh-so undeserving. The worst part is he has some sort of, thing, for me." She spat the words out with disgust. I stood to my feet. I couldn't help but shift back and forth upon my legs. She turned and looked at me. 'So," She sipped her tea." This is where you come in." "Huh?" I thought. "This she-devil isn't making any sense!" She resumed talking. " My life is boring. You can fix that. Take me somewhere. Anywhere." Her piercing eyes looked at me imploringly. "Take me to a place where those dolts will never find me, please!" I thought. She sat. The sun grew dim."So..." I stated casually and very slowly..." If I were to do this... What would be in it for me?" A ravenous grin spread across her pale face. The sunset cast a dark shadow over her maidenly features. I couldn't help but tremble. "If you help me..." She started." If you help me, I'll give all the cake you could ever eat." *---------------------* It was dark. Dingy. Musty. I followed the princess down a dark stairway. She carried a torch in her hand, her fingers delicately, yet firmly clasped around it. "How much farther?" I sullenly complained. "Not much. Now cease with your whining and keep up with me." I noticed that I indeed had started to fall behind. I started going faster. As we descended through the dimly-light dungeon, I thought of the words spoken between us on the terrace... *----------------------* "... Cake?" I uttered, extremely indignant. "Cake?!?! You want me to kidnap you, for cake?!?!?" My anger was rising, along with my profound confusion. But, one look at her calm yet mischievous face, and it all seemed to melt away. She waited for me to cool off before she spoke again. When she finally observed that I was indeed more settled, she bade me sit again. I obliged. "Obviously," She leaned over the table. "You have never had one of my cakes..." The way she said this enticed me. I sat, ears open. Waiting with bated breath for her to speak once more. She somehow noticed this, and she preyed upon it, like a cat luring a mouse with its swishing tail... "My cakes are the best in the Kingdom." She said leaning closer. "So good, that certain men have died...Repeatedly, just to have a taste." She leaned in even closer, standing up now. She was so close, I could feel her breath grazing across my face. Her smiling face had an ethereal glow to it, as it was now embraced by the moons white light. "And if you want some, all you have to do is kidnap me..." I looked into her eyes, and her into mine. I acted as if I hadn't yet decided, but we both knew that the battle was already won. And further more, that she, was the victor. *--------------------------* I made out through the faint torch light that we were approaching a small room. Deep in the dank halls of the Mushroom Kingdoms basement, I wondered what exactly fate had in store for me. "We're here." She muttered. The princess snuffed out the torch, as there were torches on both sides of the puny door. She then grabbed the handle, slowly turning it. The creaking noise it produced made my blood run cold. Time seemed to be standing still, just like my heart. Just as I had come to think that the door would never, ever open... The door made a clinking sound. It opened. I shuttered. The princess waved me inside. Category:Blog posts